When I first read Jennifer Brat’s article ‘’THE BEGINNER’S CRUSH’’ I thought
“Boy, I was lucky!! Something like that never happened to me.”
I think I had somewhat more than a year of dancing tango and I was really happy that I was warned about the possibility of being falsely ‘love struck’ by an experienced leader. I managed to keep me away from the pain, I was proud of myself!
Proud Mary keep on burning …burning …burning…
Here I am, 5 years later, looking back on my experiences in the ronda. And I can say, for the first time out loud,
“Oh, I got burned a few times, some of them so bad, I am surprised I’m still dancing!” :-)))
So it got me thinking about the subject and in my opinion there are three main expressions of the so-called tango crush.
One of them is the dangerous one, where either the lady or the man mistakes the amazing feeling on the dance floor with feelings for the partner. From the stories I’ve heard, this usually happens to the girls when they dance with a more experienced leader, because we are more likely to be impressed by a man who shows strength and determination. They say that leaders (men) tend to feel insecure with a more skilled follower, so the possibility of being impressed to the extent of a crush is rare, but still probable.
Even if it’s hard to admit (in fact, I only admitted it to myself just a short while ago) this happened to me too, at least twice. The first time it hit me hard and lasted for quite some time. Luckily, the leader dwelt in a different part of this world, so pursuing the illusional feeling was difficult, so until the next time I saw him things were… easier to deal with :-))
Another stage is the ‘’aware’’ one, usually the safest too. It’s when you get the butterflies in your stomach after a divine tanda and you’re in between appreciating the dance and falling for your partner. You actually know it’s not the person, but the Tango that just swept you of your feet, but you allow yourself to like – just a little bit – the person too. These are the flings that happen a lot, probably not just in the tango community. But the good part is no one gets hurt, it’s just the jovial, fun side of socializing and dancing.
I’m guessing most of us know that feeling after a surreal, incredible tanda when you just want to take off your shoes and stare into the void with a stupid but satisfied smile on your face…
The third one is the most amazing one, because it’s a rare bird. It’s about the really lucky people who find their life partner in the tango world. I think this is the (secret) dream of most single people who got the tango virus. You’ll hear them state that they are in ‘’the tango business’’ for their personal development, for the inherent socializing, for the dance itself, for their egocentric pleasure… But deep down, they are in search of their own little fairy tale with the perfect tango and life partner!
I know a few couples who had this blessing to find each other in this amazing world ruled by the great Tango. And even if some have a simple story, or others have absolutely incredible movie-like stories, it all comes down to just meeting somewhere in the tangosphere, getting to know each other, falling in love…
I’ve been through the first two and waiting (secretly, of course) for the third one.
How about you…?
Tango DJ from in