Great article. Thanks for sharing. This issue is one of the most talked about topics in all of Tango… As in Kay’s comment, cabeceo is the way to go. We need men to learn it and women to honor the rules. Cabeceo is there for a reason. It allows a woman to politely decline without embarrassing the man, and without having to explain herself. She is free to accept a dance from the very next leader she sees without having to lie. There’s a flip side to this story – women who come up to men and ask for dances. I find myself in the exact same position – what do I say to a beginner? “No, you’re not good enough?, you’ve danced with me before and you hang on me and hurt my back?” At least a man can protect himself with a beginner and move to open embrace… Cabeceo needs to be taught and practiced from the very beginning of learning Tango. Don Rosenberg