Hi Chrisa 🙂 These are some crucial and complex questions. Personally, I think not everyone wants to become THAT dancer, some of them just don’t care. I do, so I constantly ask myself am I getting better. One of the most important things is the feedback. You practice, you go to milongas, and in the beginning you dance with the people you know. But in time, you improve and more people want to dance with you, not because you are a nice looking person (maybe some do), but because they enjoy dancing with you. However, I find people have various points of view on what a good embrace is, or technique… so this is very elusive and personal. Some people may find my embrace wonderful, others may not. So how to be sure you are going in the right direction? Another interesting fact is that I tend to become a completely different dancer with each partner. I think that being adaptive can also play an important role in this journey. And finally, how do I recognize THAT dancer in my partners? Well, the embrace is the first thing, but also musicality and emotion… but I could write an entire essay for each question 🙂